it's lovely.

today i feel so happy.
really, my life has been so happy for the past week.
it's been an absolute blessing.
a magical weekend led to a fantastic week.
i just want to say that lauren jones is amazing.
and that i feel like i found a missing friend. and that's true.
i also want to say that hannah and i had a picnic in the beautiful weather today.
and we talked about the beginning of our lives,
and about france, and new york, and disneyland.
and love.
we always talk about love.


and about how my life is like a movie.
it really is.
and i need to be the main character
not the pathetic best friend.


be the main character in your own life.
take action.
and don't let beautiful opportunities pass you by.
travel even though its expensive.
hold his hand when you want.
smile at your memories.
lay in the sunshine.
learn about art. or something else that you would like to fancy.
believe that everything happens for a reason
and that it will all end up beautifully. just how its supposed to.
get real peeps. isn't life wonderful?
i love you all.

love, laura

8 more.

in just 8 more days
this girl is taking on the big city.
and i'm taking shelbie jude and arianna with me.

it's safe to say that I CAN'T WAIT.

love, laura

to the best night.

can we all just take a moment to look at this man?
handsome? yes.
charming? oh yes.
wonderful? mmhmmm.
perfect? very nearly.

dear bloggers,
last night i got swept off my feet.
it was beautiful.
dancing and singing and playing in the rain.
white shoes and black clothing.
dark brown eyes.
big smiles.
and a large amount of butterflies in my tummy.
did i mention he sang to me on a balcony?
yeah. he did.
i wish i could tell you everything,
but i won't.
just remember that i fell in love on march 26th.
that's all :)

love, laura

ps. i may or may not have cried when it was over...what? :)

it's ok.

i think its ok to..

laugh too much.
yes, you might snort
or forget to breathe.
don't worry about it.

talk to someone random even if they think you are weird.

run the minimum requirement of pacers in pe
...hey, it gives you room to improve?

try on your prom dress a million times.

tell someone you are proud of them.
even if you are little-er than them.

be excited.

bring a delicious apple to give to a friend.

draw pictures.

tell someone your beliefs
even if you might feel pushy.

go somewhere new.

be alone for a day or two.

listen to classical music and pretend that you are leading a symphony.

hang out with your mother.

look at pictures of all the places you want to go in your spare time.
(some of my favorites are shown above.)

read a book.

be at least 15 minutes late to...well, everything.
(this one maybe is not ok)

write a blog post when you should be doing math homework.


just do what makes you happy. K?

love, laura

a funny little thing.

sometimes i think i get a hold of my feelings..
thennnnn
well,
it turns out i don't.
today i talked to my mama about it and she laughed and said
"isn't love a funny little thing?"
well it sure is something..don't know if funny is the word..
but its weird that seeing someone else can make your heart beat faster.
and that you never get tired of replaying conversations in your head.
and that you laugh and smile and hope they are thinking of you too.
it's a funny little thing that runs your whole life.
and that's all i have to say today. :)

just tell him how you feel.

love, laura

on this monday.

today i learned that being nice can really pay off for you.
i also learned that there's lots of choices for a black and white tuxedo.
and that its hard to wake up even on early out days.
i learned that listening to piano music makes you sleepy
and also content.
i learned that its never worth it to miss seminary.
i looked at pictures from the temple.
i laughed at that blonde boy who wanted to share a hat while we danced.
and at the one who was on drugs from wisdom teeth.
i learned that its hard to find shoes in my size.
i forgot about friends being stranded on the road,
but i eventually brought them home safe.

and now, i want to go listen to someone play the cello,
and go swing on a swing.

and i should probably start doing homework on time.
i vow to you all i'll do better next term..

love, laura

here's some scriptures i found today.
1 John 4:8 "he that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love."
1 John 4:18 "there is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear"
go read that chapter! and feel of God's love for you.

i hope you understand.

you know when you are reading a really good book?
and you have that internal fight to just hurry and get it done to see how it ends?
but then there's also that part of you that is saying
"no! once you finish it, it will be over."
well, i don't know if you feel like that ever
but i know that i do.
and i also know that i feel that way about my life right now.
i can't wait for some of these upcoming events in my life.
(prom, new york, disneyland, graduation..yeah)
i've truly never been more excited in my entire life.
but i'm scared for them to be over.
i'm weird.


love, laura

a hurt thumb, and a friend.

for ari kokol.

yes,

our friendship may be scarred,

but it's still a thumbs up.

:)

love, laura

it's not really scarred by the way,

she just cut me today on accident.

be nice.

so today i'm taking a stand on the high school mentality.

my sweet friends,

i cannot tell you how many times this week i've heard...

"i know he likes her, but i can chase him, we're just in high school, right?"

"well no, i don't really like her, but we had a good time on that date, so i kissed her. i'm only <16,17,18>, shouldn't i be able to live it up now?"

"she's a beast!"

"who does she think she is?"

"ugh, i told him not to tell anyone"

people,

can we please put a stop to it?

i've been reluctant to write this post

because i know that i have said nearly every one of these things more than once.

but i have wholeheartedly decided that it needs to come to an end.

for us all.

no, you can't chase some guy who is quite into another girl,

he's not yours.

and we are failing to see the boundaries here.

no young men,

you can't kiss a girl simply because you want to.

i'm sure i don't only speak for myself when i say that kissing is very special to a girl.

when i kiss someone it means something to me,

it would kill me to have a boy kiss me and then have no intention of doing anything else about it.

(i even feel this way about holding hands for goodness sake!)

stop! stop saying hurtful things about each other!

we are all sad when people say hurtful things about us,

especially when they aren't true.

stop telling secrets!

and while your at it why don't you keep your promises?

maintain your integrity,

maintain your trust.

yes, we are indeed young.

but that doesn't mean that we have to be stupid.

now is the time to become the people we are going to be the rest of our lives,

now is the time to learn to communicate effectively,

to learn how to love people and learn from them.

it's not the time to get whatever you want regardless of how others feel.

thank you for listening to my venting.

lets put other people's feelings in front of our own gratification shall we?

it'll make the world a better place.

love, laura

today.

"hard as things are today, they will be better the next day if we choose to serve the Lord"

-henry b. eyring

"a constant waiting for a brighter future may cause us to lose a beautiful today."

-marvin j. ashton

today is a day we're never going to get back.

there is an opportunity somewhere for each and every one of us to make a difference.

and to make someone laugh,

and to give someone a compliment.

or see a rainbow,

and smell a flower,

or eat a cupcake.

most importantly,

today we choose who we're going to be,

and what we're going to say to the world about ourselves

and about what we believe

and about what we think needs to change for the better.

capture today,

have your heart out in prayer the whole time.

you may feel the sunshine on your skin

or maybe the icicles up your nose.

whatever it is,

just enjoy it.

you might see an old friend,

you might make a new one,

or maybe you won't see any friends at all,

just love it.

anything can happen today,

isn't that amazing?

there are no limits!

today you could fall in love.

today your heart could be healed.

today you can run a mile.

today you can help someone be better.

today you can become better yourself!

its a gift that God gives us every time we open our eyes in the morning.

a new day with a new story,

maybe even a new you.

what a lovely thing :)

and can we just forget tomorrow?

it isn't even here yet.

thanks.

love, laur

forgive me.

today i've had a lump in my throat all day.

i remember feeling that lump in my throat when i was little and i was trying to grow up,

big girls don't ever cry, you know?

and so i'd hold it in,

and i'd sit there with that lump in there until the tears snuck out.

i haven't felt that familiar little lump in years.

as i've gotten older i don't need to cry as much,

and when i do,

my body just lets me.

but today i'm fighting it.

and the worst part is that the reason its there is stupid.

i don't want to be hurt by stupid things.

can we all just remember to forgive one another?

we do dumb things,

but lets just love each other,

and be happy.

and realize that we're not the only ones who have emotions.

“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.”

-Dr. Sidney Simon

Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.”

-Brigham Young

and you know, sometimes you just aren't feeling it today.

and you're really hurt,

and i think thats ok.

but remember to have a little spot in your heart open to it.

because you never know when the forgiveness will finally come in.

and it'll need a place to stay.

i'm sorry that sometimes i get mad and jealous,

i really do love you all.

and i do want you to be happy :)

lets say sorry more. and actually mean it too.

love, laura

i hate to do this.

rarely do i brag.

but, sorry.

you know that hot man who sang to us tonight at american fork's got talent?

the one that stole your heart and melted it with those dark brown eyes?

that, my friends,

is my prom date.

and my best friend.

doesn't get any better than that.

thank you. :D

love, laura

spring fever.

i feel good.

spring is coming.

today i smelt the sun and sat on the grass and watched a soccer game.

i also sat on my back porch and colored a picture.

i also looked for fancy dresses.

i also cried in my car because i'm loving everything so much right now.

and yes, i also cried because i miss my brother.

and yes, i also cried because my breaks stopped working and i had to use the e-break all the way home.

(i'm crying too much this week...)

but it's wonderful right now.

can you feel it?

i'm finally becoming me.

and thats exactly who i want to be.

welcome the spring,

welcome the change,

welcome your life.

part 2.

my sweet taylor swift has the perfect song for how i'm feeling right now.

of course she does.

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up

of course this isn't how beautiful she is.

please go listen,

and shed a tear.

it's called "never grow up"

thanks.

now go enjoy the rest of your childhood.

tell me about your adventures.

love, laura

i'm only good at being young.

well yesterday i cleaned my room.

it was quite the experience.

i found plenty of old wonders :)

i even came across these babies.

yes, these are my first pair of heels..

you remember this day,

when your mom said "ok, i guess you're old enough"

and your dad said "heels? next thing we know she's gonna be wearing make up!"

(nope, i didn't start wearing make up till i was a sophomore haha)

and you feel so happy.

you feel so old,

so classy,

sophisticated, you name it.

and you strut down the halls of your church and imagine that everyone is talking about how fabulous you look.

they aren't.

but it's a fun day nonetheless.

alas,

church is over,

you crawl inside because your feet hurt,

and if your name is laura,

you aren't really a fan of heels anymore.

and it wasn't worth a second go.

luckily you have a little sister who plays dress-ups,

and those shoes got their use.

and guess what?

they still fit,

one of the pluses of feet that don't grow...

it's weird.

in a few months i'll be taking pictures of my first apartment.

and pictures of new friends,

new school,

new seasons,

VISITING home (weird),

new life.

it's going too fast.

i'm so scared of getting older, i'm only good at being young.

love, laura

its 2 a.m.

now for some thought.

trust.

as i'm not able to sleep in this early hour,
i'm thinking about trust.
and how if you don't have trust,
well, you don't have much of anything.
i can honestly say that the only person i can fully trust is the Lord.

i didn't used to be this way of course,
i remember well the days that i trusted each person.
in fact, they weren't long ago.
there were days when i trusted airbags.
when i trusted door knobs and the locks on them.
there were days when i trusted band-aids.
and even days when i trusted boys not to break my heart.
there were days when i trusted marital vows.

it seems as though it went away in one day.

in a way it did.
there was a night with no sleep, and a morning with my world being torn apart
there were many many tears,
and many many walls.

i like to think that i'm over things,
that i'm strong and easy-going and that all my pains are far gone.
i don't know why its so hard to admit the truth,
but its far past time to release it.

so, here goes.

i'm fragile.
completely and helplessly fragile.
i am, at times, utterly consumed in fear.
not the kind that gives you goosebumps and shivers,
the kind that makes you cry.
cry and mourn what you have lost and what you fear you might lose.
the kind that makes your heart droop and your ribs quake.
the kind of fear that only those who have been betrayed to their very core can understand.

i realize that i can be...crazy, annoying, controlling...all of the above,

but today, i don't need to apologize.

because although me putting a lot of my trust in teenage boys is quite unhealthy,
and the constant anticipation for something bad to happen is exhausting,
i'm fragile, i'm scared,
and i'm waiting for a human male to prove to me that he won't leave.

i need to know that.

until then?

its a beautiful thing to know that God is an unchangeable being.
that what is revealed to me today will still be true tomorrow.
and that i can invest every ounce of my trust in Him until i'm ready to take the leap of faith on an actual person.
and that even when i do take that leap, He will still be there.
i have trust in Him and i know that He will never let me down.
i know that He will never let you down either.

take a deep breath. and purge some emotion why don't you.
i just did, sorry if some of it got on you.

love, laura

ohhhtherearesomewinnersoutthere.

last night i went dancing.

yes, i did.

with a boy.

he is genuine, and wonderful, and actually quite charming.

we could maybe fall in love if my name wouldn't end up being laura larsen.

i don't think i could pull it off.

oh well.

we pulled some moves like that 2nd picture there.

no not really.

at one point we did discuss it,

but we decided he would break and i would be embarrassed.

so...no thanks.

it's simply lovely to meet young men like this one.

bright eyed and full of life,

they may have some funny dance moves, and get a titch nervous when you sing to them,

but it just adds to the greatness.

and innocence is a beautiful thing.

and so is the spirit shining out of their faces.

he's a winner girls,

and i have his home phone number if you ask nicely :)

tonight i was bothered.

about once a month i get very bothered about things i wouldn't normally be bothered about.

alright, that's not true, i probably would be bothered anyways.

but as i was wallowing in my botherment at work,

a delightful young man called me to go to a movie with he and another delightful young man.

how lucky does this girl get?

so i went.

and i talked with them after.

and talked to them about my botherment for quite some time.

it's nice when boys listen to you,

especially when you talk about their best friends.

:)

call someone you don't normally call, and listen to their story.

love, laura

i can dream.

it'll happen,

in 5 years time...:)

and it'll be love love love throughout our bodies,

and it'll be love love love through our minds,

and it'll be love love love all over [his] face,

and it'll be love love love all over mine.

and though really all these moments are just in my head,

i'll be thinking about them as i'm lying in bed,

and i know that really it might not even come true,

but in my mind i'm having a pretty good time with you.

oh in 5 years time i might not know you,

in 5 years time we might not speak,

in 5 years time we might not get along,

in 5 years time, you might just prove me wrong.

oh there will be love love love wherever you go.

-noah and the whale.

lately i do too much thinking,

what else is new?

but i get so stressed about my future.

i'm at a weird place,

the end and the beginning,

at the same time.

i don't really like it too much to be honest.

and you think about the future,

about where you'll be in just 5 short years.

will he be the one?

will you even get along in 5 years?

will you even see him after this one?

but whats wrong with thinking you will?

whats wrong with thinking of things that make you happy?

nothing.

that's right,

i don't think anything is wrong with it.

so i'll continue. thank you very much.

send your best friend a happy song,

it will make their day :)

thanks han.

love, laura

its march.

i came home today and played my guitar,

and made up a song about a boy.

and i feel good.

cause when you do what you love,

it makes your soul very happy.

and in case you didn't know,

your soul is where your spirit and your body meet.

i think.

today, go do something you love.

and make your soul happy.

and tell me how it goes.

i love you all.

love, laura

ps. i love that basketball is so unreal right now.

it's making my life so happy.

and also,

its march.

thank heavens,

here comes the sun :) doo doo doo doooooo