Friday, December 30, 2011
all the smiles on faces
and tickles in tummies,
all the dreams of young people
and the grass that dances with the wind,
all the glittery snow flakes
and pink and orange clouds,
all the foggy half moons
and big full ones too,
all the happy secrets shared
and the songs that make your muscles want to move,
all the hair blowing through the car window
and heavy hearts turning light,
and memories you'll never forget,
all the times you run inside because it's chilly
and you get shivers because you're skin is so happy,
all the good kind of tear drops
and all the colors of sweaters,
the feeling of being home
and the smell of it too,
and the word "lovely"
thats how i feel about you.
"but when you look at them & see that they're
beautiful, that's how i feel about you."
Thursday, December 15, 2011
there comes a tinge of guilt inside of me
because the world is sad sometimes
hearts are breaking and people are dying
people are making mistakes and hurting the ones they love most
and hearts are missing each other.
and today i thought about asking if it was wrong
to be so happy when so many awful things are happening.
if it was selfish,
if i was stealing everyone else's happiness.
and i felt so at peace.
because there isn't one big tank of happiness that everyone has to share from.
happiness is infinite
and its all around us
its in the sunshine and the christmas lights and the words that make your heart flutter
its in the morning laughs and the fluffy blankets and 7 freckles on your left arm.
its in your heart, its inside your very soul.
and every single little life can have as much as it wants
and no one can steal anyone else's away.
so if the love part of your life is perfect, enjoy every second of it.
and scream and laugh and dance about it if you want.
and wish the strangers at the store a "merry christmas!"
because the phrase is starting to die.
and wear lots of layers and put on funny hats
and be so thrilled that everyone is coming home, even if they will leave again.
make time for people, because you learn more from them than anything else.
read a good book.
and if you love a song, feel free to hit that replay button as much as you'd like.
and remember what this season is all about, and love the Savior with all you've got.
cause He's where all the happiness really comes from.
"we'll face unafraid the plans that we've made
walkin in a winter wonderland."
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
i often feel like my heart is going to fall out of my chest
because so much lovely is filling it up.
and i stay up late and wake up early
because too many lovely things are on my mind.
and i squeal and i laugh and i cover my eyes
because i hear about lovely things.
and i see the lovely lights
and i hear the lovely songs
and though summertime is no more
though tall buildings, and long boards
and the salt water and sand are miles away,
i have my stars above me
and my heart beating outside of me
and even though it can be scary
i've never been in a place that's lovelier than this.
"maybe one day we can go"
Thursday, December 1, 2011
from inside of me i feel the need to scream it all out on top of something tall.
except all i have is this blog and so that'll have to do.
i woke up this morning with the pukies in my stomach.
its abnormal for me to feel this way
i throw up a lot but only out of crying
or when i brush my teeth and my gag reflexes don't like it.
so to wake up and feel really sick is a really odd feeling
and i really don't like it that much.
my mom brings me oils when i don't feel good and she rubs them on my feet.
then she gives me some to rub on my tummy
and now i smell like flowers or
or something like that.
so i get some work done and then i stay in my pajamas all day.
and i look outside and realize that it is december.
i so enjoy the first day of every month because its the promise for a whole new 30 or so days of new things.
its like looking at the empty pages left in your journal
and wondering what in the world you're going to write about back in there
because you have no idea when you'll write in it
and no idea where you'll be when you do.
and my phone has been quieter the past few days.
and i'm sorry that this long post might make no sense at all.
but its december and its not snowing
and this is the most magical month of all of them.
so go outside and don't forget your coat.
and tonight look at the christmas lights because
it looks like christmas out there.
"your skin and bones turn into something beautiful, you know,
you know i love you so."