Monday, August 20, 2012

mud huts and writing.

i'm hurt by things i shouldn't be hurt by
like the way your eyes look at him and the way he forgot what i said,
i cried the night i saw you all for no reason at all really
it was just cloudy in my head.
i wish i had the courage to say, "you're shooting yourself in the foot, and i'm sorry"
or "alkdjflaskjdfa;lkjwe;faije;fjlxckjvlkajsdf;wiejf;aowiejf;aoijdsfkj" (because that's how i feel inside but unfortunately it can't be said)
i want to wish on the wind and have it take me far away and more far away and more far away.
and if it took me far away, i'd wish you were there with me.
yes, if it took me far away, i'd want you to see the things i'd see.
we'd see people doing good
and we'd learn how to build a house out of mud.
and we'd teach the people why our faces shine and why we
ever started speaking to each other and how we sang in the car and what a car was.
we'd be adventurers, you and i.
and i'd forget all the mistakes i've made and friendships i ruined.
i'd forget all the complaints about the president,
or the way our lives are too fast paced.
i'd forget that i let my nerves get the best of me. that i wanted to protect someone so much that i forgot to love his lover.
we'd ask the trees about what they thought love was. they've seen a lot of
love over a lot of time, you know?
and we'd talk about the first time i knew God was real. and you'd tell me about that night when you cried.
and the milky way would be bright.
and the people i know would only have good things to say about me.
they'd forget it all. all of it. every last thing.
and if i died right there i'd be happy. and i hope no one would be sad.
i hope they'd all get together for a dinner and they'd laugh about things i said.
and maybe they'd remember walks in the canyon
or facts about stars
or even how scared they were of me, or how scared i was of them.
but i hope they'd remember that i loved them.
every one of them.
i hope you'd remember that i love you.
i hope you'd remember that wherever i am, i'm doing good things.
wherever i am, i'll save a run away and a mud hut for you.
and wherever you are, you keep doing good things too.

"and i told you to be patient,
and i told you to be kind"
love, laura