my thoughts tonight,

today i began moving into my new home.

which i love.

with all of my heart,

and my soul too.

i've never been more impressed with people.

people are good.

like people are amazing.

they came from all over just to help us move.

it was so nice to feel their love and also the love of the Savior through their service.

"inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren,

ye have done it unto me."

good work boys.

good work girls.

and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

truly.

here's a little snippet of my thoughts tonight.

well, it's 1 in the morning right now.

and in case you're wondering why i'm up so late,

it's because i think too much to sleep sometimes.

correction: pretty much all the time.

and then don't worry,

i have dreams the whole night,

about what i've been thinking about.

and so,

i'm beginning to think my brain never sleeps.

poor thing.

anyways,

tonight, i went and watched a movie at brother Casper's (i guess bishop now. :D)

some of the young men in my new ward were over there and asked me to come over,

so i did.

obviously...wow.

but it was the movie inception.

((i loved it))

the greatest part about it though was brother casper pulling the gospel into it constantly,

i felt the spirit!

in a movie.

does it get any better?

no.

and it helped me to get things into an eternal perspective.

and it made me want to be better,

and it gave me hope that i can be better :)

ahhh. inspiring :)

anyways,

afterwards, i had to take the long way home.

that happens when i need to think,

and that movie makes you need to think.

and long drives allow you to space and freedom to think your thoughts.

anyways,

i began my drive thinking about that movie,

and thinking about existence,

and listening to no music at all.

then i turned on a new cd my dear cousin, emily, made for me.

i listened to this beautiful, happy little song.

i wanted to cry,

it made me think about getting older,

and getting married,

and dancing,

and how wonderful the days ahead are going to be.

then came the spiritual part of the night.

i turned on the christmas tunes.

because soon they'll be over.

and that makes me feel sad.

anyways,

i heard "Oh Holy Jesus" playing...on the radio.

on the radio?

yes.

i LOVE this song.

at first i was confused.

because i've only heard it on our motab cd.

and it's not a christmas cd.

it's just a church cd.

but as i thought of it more,

it couldn't be more appropriate.

that song is just a testimony of the Savior and of all the amazing things he has done,

and of the gratitude we should have for Him year round.

especially this season.

and so,

i don't want to be in anyones face,

but i just can't help telling you what i feel.

and it's my blog,

so i'll tell you what i want. :)

Christ did everything for me,

and every day He does more for me.

and i just need everyone who reads this to know,

that i love my Savior.

and that i know He loves me too.

and that's all you really need to know about me.

love, laura

it's almost here.

CHRISTMAS

is in

fOuR
4
FOUR
four
1,2,3,4

more days!!!!


love, laura

and there you go.

words of wisdom from james morrison's

love is hard.

love takes hostages and gives them pain,

gives someone the power to hurt you again

and again...

it kicks so hard,

it breaks your bones.

cuts so deep,

it hits your soul.

tears your skin

and it makes your blood flow.

it's better that we know,

that love is hard,

love is hard,

if it was easy it wouldn't mean nothing, no.

and nothing easy is ever worth it :)

so patience is key.

love, laura

sincerity.

sincere.

(sɪnˈsɪə)
— adj
1.	not hypocritical or deceitful; open; genuine: a sincere person ;sincere regret
2.	archaic pure; unadulterated; unmixed be sincere. laugh sincerely. smile sincerely. pray sincerely. cry sincerely. apologize sincerely. without it, you're just wasting your breath. dear sincerity, there's not enough of you in the world. people don't realize that without you, words mean nothing. and with you, words can change everything. love, laura

can't understand.

some things,

i'll never understand.

like men.

and you deserve better,

than men you can't understand.

and here's the song of the day.

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

jar of hearts - Christina Perri

i love you all.

thanks for the support this weekend.

i've never felt so blessed to know so many great people :)

tori mason let me fall asleep at her house on friday and wake her up and cry when i had dreams.

jamie let me borrow her ipod so i could rage with taylor swift.

hannah and ari stayed by me all night last night.

ari raged for me.

mikelle has been my constant texting companion.

natalie and jamie and tori took me to write letters.

i love you all.

so much more than you know.

:)

love, laura

to be honest.

bloggers.

i gotta let it fly.

to be honest,

tomorrow is a day i have not been looking forward to.

in the morning i have a monster anatomy test.

i was just at tori's for forever trying to study,

but i'm still scared i won't pass.

also, it's the last day before break.

do you know what that means?

yes.

it means it's the longest day of the year.

also,

that assembly,

that's all i have to say about that.

also,

i have work.

blehhhhhhh.

but as i've been thinking of this,

i realized that i have so much to look forward to tomorrow.

like,

PASSING my anatomy test (i can hope right? :))

like,

finishing school for TWO WEEKS!

like,

going to an assembly that raises money for families in need.

i just needed to change my focus today.

and we'll see how it flies tomorrow.

also,

today i met tori mason's family,

and to be honest,

they are the greatest people.

i am already in love with them and i barely even know them!

you can see where she gets all of her amazing-ness.

she's another one you should get to know.

you'll love her.

also,

today we had a seminary assembly.

i was touched by every message.

i love the Savior.

and i love being able to know that He loves me enough to inspire someone to share something with me in seminary.

it's amazing that He can know me personally.

and to be honest i don't know how it happens.

but to be completely honest,

i just KNOW that He does.

and tonight i went to a play with mikelle.

it was awesome.

it was so inspiring to do something different.

and to be honest, mikelle is also inspiring.

i'm so blessed to know these people.

and to be honest,

today i want to grow up.

and today i want to remain a child.

and today i want to run away.

and today i want to stay where i am.

and today i want tomorrow to be over.

and when it's over,

let's celebrate.

k?

love, laura

thank you j.

on monday night,

i talked to jamie for hours in her car.

we talked about the future,

and young men who seem to occupy our lives,

(pathetic. :))

but she's amazing.

and she gave me some tips that i needed to make it through this week. here's the top three.

first,

no matter what, if you put Christ first, you'll be ok.

second,

be grateful for all the little things going right in your life. sometimes the big things are a little off, but just focus on the things that are making you happy.

third,

write letters. even if you never send them, just write it. get it out of your system.

this last one is incredible.

i tried it today in fact.

i have a journal/notebook thing that ari got for me when she went to new york earlier this year.

i keep it in my backpack and whenever i have time during classes i write down my thoughts and draw pictures.

it has saved my life many times,

i recommend getting one if you don't have one.

anyways,

today, i wrote a letter,

it wasn't long,

it wasn't fancy,

i just let out the things that i never could let out to anyone,

because no one is going to see it,

it's just me and the journal.

i wrote things that i wish i could say,

i wrote things that i would never say,

i wrote the most honest letter of my life.

and it was a moment to just be honest with myself,

and honest with the person i was writing it to,

even though he wasn't even there.

and i love honest moments :)

try it people.

it works!

also,

try talking to jamie,

she's amazing.

that's all.

love, laura

dear you...

dear you,
hello there,
today i came home,
and i wished to see your car there.
don't ask me why.
i don't know.
that never happens.
but,
it's just one of those things that i wished for today.
love, laura

dear santa,
i want a lot of money,
not for myself,
but for my mama.
i want her to stop working so hard,
and i want her to be happy.
maybe you can find a man for her too.
love, laura

dear earth,
i love you dearly,
and i normally don't like the snow,
but come on now,
it's december.
and i'm ready for a little bit.
and then you can take a break for the rest of the year,
i'm just dreaming of a white christmas.
that's all.
love, laura

dear school,
thanks for getting interesting these days,
it's helping me a lot,
keep it up.
love, laura

dear friends,
you're the greatest.
and i don't tell you enough,
but i couldn't do it without you.
i'm so blessed to know so many great people.
love, laura

no longer homeless!

this week i got a surprise!

a big surprise :)

we got a house!!!!

finally.

and if you didn't know,

for a little while now,

we've been living with my grandparents.

it's been very nice of them,

i've been grateful for the experience.

but not having our own place has made me really grateful.

things that i used to take for granted,

i'm gonna be so happy to have again.

like,

my own bed,

not living out of boxes,

like being able to be as loud as we want,

and not having to worry about everything being so clean all the time.

and putting up what decorations we want,

and painting the walls whatever color we want.

and like having my own room,

(which by the way has bead board on the walls :))

i'm just so excited!

so excited.

we are so lucky to have gotten this blessing.

it's going to be wonderful!

and it as wood floors!

which i love!

and it's so bright!

which i love.

i took jamie and tori through it last week,

they were so nice,

they told me they had chills.

and i did too.

i love it.

and i love all of you,

and i'm grateful for everything!

ahhh :)

love, laura

love song of the day :)

i need you now,

and i just can't tell you why,

caught up in you,

i'm caught up in you,

untouchable burning brighter than the sun,

and when you're close i feel like coming undone,

in the middle of the night when i'm in this dream,

it's like a million little stars spelling out your name,

you gotta come on,

come on,

say that we'll be together,

come on,

come on,

little taste of heaven.

-untouchable, taylor swift.

dancing, and other amazings.

last night was a basketball game,

and after that there was a dance,

i like both,

a lot a lot :)

i forget how fun basketball games are.

i think it's the funnest sport to watch.

p.s. i'm now a member of the A team :)

anyways,

dances could be one of my favorite things,

i love dancing.

i'm awful,

but i think i was probably a dancer in another life,

and that's good enough for me :)

but, i am awful,

but, i do still have some killer moves,

and,

i'm sore today from it.

how embarrassing.

but,

on a more thoughtful note,

the dance made me really think about something,

have you noticed how much thoughts go through your head all the time?

like who you should dance with?

or who you should dance around?

or what you think about this song?

or who you were with when you hear it.

or how his sweater is cute,

and how your so sweaty and you hope you aren't whatever stinks so bad,

or is he looking at me?

sometimes, it makes my head hurt a little bit.

and here is another amazing individual.'

michelle perry,

she is fantastic.

she has red hair, which i'm rather fond of.

probably one of the prettiest girls i've ever seen.

she's honest about herself,

and i find that refreshing.

she's not trying to be anyone else,

she's just michelle,

and she's more than happy about that :)

one day i told her about my family,

and she pulled me into the library and let me cry,

and guess what?

she cried with me.

i'm so grateful for her in my life :)

just another blessing!

love, laura

confessions,

some confessions from the heart,

i like calling people by their full names "jacob, steven, matthew etc."

because i think it makes what i'm saying to them more personal for some reason.

i dislike how facebook changes my :) into a big obnoxious yellow smiley.

it bothers me.

i like them small and flipped on their side.

i like families.

and i really like people talking about their families.

because it says a lot about a person,

i think.

i like feeling like i'm going to cry.

i used to hate it,

but now i like how it gets things out of you.

if i like a song,

i will repeat it at least 20 times.

and if you think i'm exaggerating,

ok. 19 times.

every day when i drive home from work,

i go the longest way possible.

all by myself,

and sometimes i turn the radio off,

and pray out loud.

i wear blue eyeliner under my eyes most the time.

i do this because i think it makes them look blue,

but i don't have blue eyes.

in fact i'm not sure what color my eyes are.

but on my drivers license it says they are hazel,

but they are blue and green..ish.

is that hazel?

also,

in case you were wondering,

brown eyes are my favorite.

the dark-almost-black-brown.

i like to feel my heart beat,

except for when i slam my fingers and i can feel it in them.

that's not fun.

love, laura

:)

today i am happy.

so many things have been fixed inside me this week.

for the past few months i've had a few problems that were really bothering me.

and you know it can be hard to fix something,

when you don't necessarily have anything to move on from.

and you just feel confused,

and tired,

and hungry,

and like all you want to do is look up conference talks that make you cry. :)

and i guess that is a good thing that comes from it.

but on friday, a lot of things got cleared up for me.

and it was beautiful :)

and now i feel at peace!

and that's the best thing i could ever want.

and i'm so grateful that Heavenly Father did it on His own time.

because now i feel so blessed to have the peace.

so so blessed.

and today at church,

i felt the spirit so strong :)

i love these times.

when you realize that God loves you,

and you can see His hand in your life :)

and i'll never ever deny that His has been in mine.

even when it's been so hard.

love, laura :)

Be assured that there is a safe harbor. You can find peace amidst the
storms that threaten you. Your Heavenly Father—who knows when even a
sparrow falls—knows of your heartache and suffering. He loves you and
wants the best for you. Never doubt this. He has promised the faithful peace even in their trials and
tribulations. -Josph B. Wirthlin

Christmas Spirit

i just read this talk by President Monson called "In search of the Christmas Spirit"
and i loved this :)

"I am the Christmas Spirit.
I enter the home of poverty, causing pale-faced children to open their eyes wide in pleased wonder.
I cause the miser’s clutched hand to relax and thus paint a bright spot on his soul.
I cause the aged to renew their youth and to laugh in the glad old way.
I keep romance alive in the heart of childhood and brighten sleep with dreams woven of magic.
I cause eager feet to climb dark stairways with filled baskets, leaving behind them hearts amazed at the goodness of the world.
I cause the prodigal to pause a moment on his wild, wasteful way, and send to anxious love some little token that releases glad tears—tears which wash away the hard lines of sorrow.
I enter dark prison cells, reminding scarred manhood of what might have been, and pointing forward to good days yet to come.
I come softly into the still, white home of pain; and lips that are too weak to speak just tremble in silent, eloquent gratitude.
In a thousand ways I cause the weary world to look up into the face of God, and for a little moment forget the things that are small and wretched.
I am the Christmas Spirit."

i'll be home for christmas.

as you can tell from earlier entries,
Chirstmas music is my absolute favorite kind of music :)
but currently,
country music is my second favorite kind of music.
anyways,
rascal flats has this AMAZING version of "i'll be home for christmas"
really.
go to youtube right now and look it up.
i'll be home for Christmas happens to be my favorite christmas song :)
do you want to know why?
ok i'll tell you.
when i was little, i was 100% posititve that i was going to be a movie star one day.
not just a movie star,
i was gonna be a big deal!
living in New York and paparazi all over and everything!
i wanted it all.
i used to tell my mom about it.
being the amazing mom that she is, she'd just smile and say,
"yeah i know laur" and i really thought she believed in me :)
she's awesome.
anyways,
i used to tell her that one day when i grew up and was famous, i wouldn't live with her anymore.
but i promised her that every year i would send her a Christmas card with this song playing in it.
then she could be sure that i'd be home to spend Christmas with her.
it's a funny little story.
but i think of it every time i hear this song,
and how much i love my mom,
and about dreams,
and about my future family,
and about snow,
and presents under the tree,
and about how Christmas is the only day of the whole year where you can just be home with your family, and not want anything more.
and isn't that what its all about?
it's funny as you get older how holidays mean different things to you than they did before.
this year is my last one at home. and i'm grateful for the season.
not because of all the hustle and bustle and shopping (although i love all that a lot),
but because i have a family who loves me.
because i have friends who care.
and most importantly because i have a Savior who understands.
i love this season!

love, laura