its weird.

that my mouth is full of words
that never
ever
come out right.

and a heart can be so happy to have found him
and so scared to leave him
at the same time.


that saying "see you later"
makes you feel so much better than saying "goodbye".

how sleeping alone
with an unmade bed on the other side of the room
can make you cry.


how i feel like i'm so full of
confusion inside my tummy
that i don't want to put jeans on.
i'm scared they won't fit around it.

how close everything is to falling
apart
or how close it is
to falling together.


how he probably thinks i'm kidding.
but i'm actually very serious.

and that i want to live in a teepee.


"but it sure felt nice when he was
holding my hand."
love, laur