some girls to whom i owe my life this week.

sitting in a blue room,

with lights shining all around,

and violins playing the sounds of my soul.

sitting across from a beautiful girl with long brown hair.

we're sharing a mint brownie.

and looking at her furrowed brows of frustration and fear,

then looking into her eyes to see the light of God within her.

a true free spirit.

with nothing but good to give the world.

sitting in a car,

at a park.

crying and expressing my deepest fears.

feeling the weight of a broken heart being lifted for a few minutes.

listening to a dark haired girl with a dimple,

tell me it's all going to be ok,

and that one day i'll have my life back.

nothing but love inside her heart.

love that she is willing to give.

walking in the hall,

trying to focus on something worthwhile,

a girl with red hair comes and hugs me,

and reminds me that once a month us girls do tend to get emotional.

she's going to change the world.

driving alone and wondering what to do.

my phone buzzes.

her name pops up with a smiley face next to it.

and i smile.

she talks to me about work,

and how weird the people are there.

she asks me to go to red mango.

and we talk about a boy.

a boy that neither of us generally worry about.

and it makes things better.

one day she'll marry the perfect man.

and he will love her like she deserves.

and hopefully, they'll let me hang out with them.

cause i sure can't live without her.

i get dressed in the morning,

and i try to look cool.

i take extra time on putting it all together,

and i'm walking through the hall,

and she says "laura, you're the greatest thing, and you look great today"

with her fire-y red hair and beanie.

it truly meant the world to me.

one day, she'll play in a concert,

and her music will heal us all.

cause i believe music can do such a thing.

and i know she does too.

another red head,

saw me at my red mango date.

gave me hope.

and gave me a new friend.

we used to fear one another,

and now she helps me whenever i see her.

and she doesn't judge.

and she'll reach people in a way that no one else can.

i love these girls.

they know who they are.

and i love watching them all make the world a better place.

love, laura

being me.

i'm laura,

i'm 18 years young.

i love people.

i hate being mad.

i love Jesus Christ.

i want to be a doctor.

i want to save the world.

i want to be a wife and mom someday.

i want to grow my own garden.

i want to live in a beach house, with lots of windows, and flowers, and art.

i want to go to bora bora with the love of my life.

i want to run a marathon. not even fast. i just want to do it.

i want to go on a mission.

i want to make someone laugh every day.

i want to listen.

i want to learn.

i want to write songs. in fact, deep inside i want to be a starving musician for a few months.

i think life is beautiful.

i think it's ok to feel too deeply.

i think i do feel too deeply.

i think i am in love.

i listen to love songs when i go to sleep.

i think i was a dancer in another life. even though now, i can't do it whatsoever. it's in there.

i know the best people the world has to offer.

i love the earth, and i want to protect it.

i love the sunshine.

i have small feet and hands.

i want to lead a symphony.

i'm scared to grow up.

i'm scared to get married,

no, i'm scared of getting divorced.

i'm scared of losing him.

i miss my brother.

i miss swinging on swings.

i miss my dad.

i miss my old house.

i miss long drives and singing loud.

i want to go camping.

i love yoga. one day i want to be a yogi.

trail mix is my favorite food. but not the raisins.

i want to go anywhere and everywhere.

i want to show people how much they have done for me, and how grateful i am.

i want to live at the temple.

i want to dance in the middle of the street. with a boy singing to me.

i want to ride my bike. everywhere.

and mostly,

right now..

i just want to stop talking about myself.

thanks for reading :)

love, laura

happy.

i was at work the other day,

and an old man came in.

he ordered a cheeseburger.

and then as he waited for it to be made he started whistling.

he whistled "the first noel".

being the annoying parker's girl that i am i said,

"are you whistling a Christmas song?!"

and he just smiled and said "i don't know what i'm whistling, but whatever i'm whistling,

it makes me happy.

when you get to be my age, you learn to only use your time doing things that make you happy"

i want to learn that at my age.

and only do things that make me happy.

because life's too short to live it any other way.

love, laura

summer sick.

an ode to sunshine.

come back sunshine.

remove all the grey.

things seem a lot sadder,

without all your rays.

and when i wake up,

before i open my eyes,

each day i hope,

for a surprise.

not for presents,

and not for height,

but for something greater,

for your great light

.

thank you.

love, laura

a trip down memory lane.

so the other day,

i was driving some boys home from school,

and my car died in the middle of the road. (RIP celebrity)

it was quite awful.

but luckily, these strapping young men could push it off to the side for me.

spencer vernon stopped and by and picked up ryan and issac,

and me and steve decided to walk home.

well, as we were walking we walked by the good ol' junior high and decided to take a look around.

we saw our old classrooms and lockers and teachers and everything.

it was fun.

and it was funny.

and i never want to go back to junior high. ;)

but we walked by our old science class,

which is where we met,

and it was so weird for me.

it's weird that i met him.

just like it's weird that i met jamie,

or weird that i ever had to meet ari,

or weird that i had to meet mikelle, or ari, or tori, or hannah.

there was a time in my life when i didn't know any of these people.

and now they are my best friends.

life is amazing that way.

and i like to think that the day that i met steve in 8th grade science

or jamie at cheer try-outs in 5th grade.

or whotever,

that God smiled,

and knew that they were going to help me so much in the days ahead,

and i'm grateful that that happens,

and that i met them all when i needed to.

and that i'll meet other people when i need to.

it's wonderful.

i love seeing God's hand in my life.

love, laura

i wouldn't mind.

Merrily we fall out of line,

out of line,

i'd fall anywhere with you

i'm by your side,

swinging in the rain,

humming melodies,

we're not going anywhere until we freeze

i'm not afraid anymore,

i'm not afraid,

forever is a long time

but i wouldn't mind spending it by your side

i'm torn

to be where you are

i wouldn't mind - he is we

time.

isn't time weird?

every minute is always 60 seconds long.

every hour is always 60 minutes long.

and every day is always 24 hours long.

every week is always 7 days.

yet, for some reason,

sometimes it feels like it's going slow.

sometimes it feels like it's going too fast.

when i was little, i thought that when time was going slow it meant that somewhere in the world something really good was happening to someone, so God was slowing down time for them.

today i thought of that again.

and i think i should keep thinking that,

it makes time a lot easier to handle.

love, laura

people are neat.

a few weeks ago i went to temple square with jake meyer, hannah and cole.

you see some interesting things in salt lake city,

it's a lot of fun.

i don't quite remember what we saw,

but we were walking down the street and jake looked at me,

and he said, "people are neat!" haha :)

it made me happy.

because people are neat.

and i have a story to express how neat.

today,

i was at work,

( i work at parkers drive in if you didn't know)

and a lady walked in and ordered food.

i looked at the ring on her finger and it was really pretty.

i said, "hey your ring is really pretty!"

she brightened right up and said, "it's gonna be 35 years this month!!!"

i laughed and said "that's a long time to be with someone! Congratulations."

she smiled and looked at her ring and said "it doesn't feel like it's been long at all."

people,

that is love.

i almost cried.

literally.

love, laura

laugh.

Laughter is a celebration of the human spirit. -sabrina white.

sorry bloggers.

so,
due to moving into a new home,
my internet was not with us.
RIP.
but not really,
because now it is no longer resting.
so i can blog.
ohh how i missed this :)
break. was. good.
but not long enough,
never is.
but i did go on a woman date with hannah,
and i did figure some things out with my best friend :)
and i did get a new house,
and i did have a few sleepovers with jamie and tor tor,
and life is wonderful.
and the other day (as in monday)
i listened to some talk,
i don't remember what it was all about exactly,
but it talked a little about how we hurt those we love the most.
i know we've all heard that about a trillion times,
butttt.
it really hit me this time.
i do this all the time.
especially to this one person in particular.
and that's just not right.
just not right.
and so,
it's a new year,
and i'm gonna be better.
because i need these people around that i'm rude too.
especially this one.
yeah. :)

and today,
i'm needing to thank some people.

thank you steven,
for listening to me talk about dumb things,
all the time. :)
and for being my best friend. :)

thank you hannah,
for being cute.

thanks cade,
for helping me with my homework!

thanks jake meyer,
i'm glad we're neighbors.

thanks whitney,
you make me laugh.

thanks ari,
i needed the hug today.

thanks michelle,
for showing me that entry,
and always having my best interest in mind.
you're awesome.

thanks j.
i was in fact very excited to see you at lunch.
very excited :)

and thanks matt maddix,
for telling me what i need to hear when i need to hear it,
and making me feel loved and not psycho,
you're good at doing that :)

thanks everyone.
and be happy :)
and tell me if you ever need anything.

the church is true!

love, laura