9 more, honey suckle.

you read that right, and i hope it made your heart jump a little
because heaven knows my heart is falling to my feet and coming out my ears and i can't even
keep a hold on that thing anymore.
i write letters to some imaginary person and it's scared how fast you feel that
you have forgotten someone and how somehow they have forgotten you.
i'm thrilled we got silver rings on our fingers so that when you hold bananas i can
see that you still remember me, and somehow we still remember each other somewhere, sometimes, so long ago.
all i ever talk about is fear and love and somehow they are so close to each other
it's almost scary and lovely at the same time.
but i'm not going to talk about that here today because i only have a few
more things to say to you and your lovely face and i just
want to talk for a second, ok?
i've fallen in love with a lot of things and a lot of people and a lot of
life.
but i don't know if i've loved many things as much as i love the sunshine.
when it creeps up the mountain and i know that God loves me and wants me to be warm and wants you to be warm, too.
there's nothing like the 4 people who grew up with me and
called me names and pushed me down.
there's nothing like the 4 people who helped me grow the most.
there's something about snowfall that makes the air more quiet and the nights more blue
, and something about wet hair and shoveled drive ways that
makes you forget who you are.
i don't really know what else i learned this week except that God is so real and so here right now.
and it's because all you lovely people knelt by your beds and blessed laura.
and now i hope that you can do that even more and that you wish on stars for me and on yellow lights for me,
but i won't ask you to use birthday candles on me.
but i need you, and i need this. and mississippi needs me. and i won't see snow air for a long time.
but i need to fall in love with more things i haven't seen yet.
like people who say "ya'll" and twinkies that are fried.
like a girl who will sleep in the same room as me and i don't even know her name yet.
like ugly shoes and long skirts and sweat rolling down my back.
like the hair on my head that had to turn back natural and made me cry.
people say you learn from scary, and that you grow from tears.
people say there's still stars in the south and that mail still works there, too.
but guess what i'm saying is this is hard but i can't stop myself.
my heart is beating and i need help and i need sleep and i need a bigger suitcase.
but time keeps ticking and people keep leaving and i know that you love me somewhere.
and eyelids fill with sparkles if you close your eyes and count to ten
and when you open them you make the world so pretty and i'm so lucky i get to see it sometimes.
so don't forget to wish and pray and don't forget how beautiful you are.
you must never forget how beautiful you are.




"let him go, bluebird"
love,laur