Wednesday, November 7, 2012
i could feel it.
you're in brazil now, and you won't read this, and i understand
cause i won't be sending you letters like this anymore, and you understand.
but i just want you to know that you are missing from me.
like i lost a leg or a lung or something and i'm trying to figure all this out.
call me crazy, but at 11 o'clock yesterday morning i felt a tug at my heart,
and the tug kept getting stronger and stronger till i woke up at 4 this morning
from all the tugging, and i cried and couldn't go back to sleep.
you are so far away from me right now, my heart was being pulled the further
i could feel it, i could feel every mile, every second.
goodbyes are never easy, and i guess "see you later"s aren't either, really.
and in some moments, two years feels like tomorrow,
and in some it feels like two hundred.
but either way, we're moving now, and you're in brazil.
and i'm so happy that you're in brazil!
and i cry and i weep and at times feel like i weigh 311 pounds,
but i'm doing this, and i love you more today than i ever have.
and i love the Lord, and i love that i gave him my heart.
i don't know when i'll hear from you,
and i don't know how you feel,
and i don't know if you're safe or if you're happy or if you're scared,
but i know that He knows. and somehow, that's more than enough.
He's taking care of you, and He's taking care of me.
and although you are missing from me, i am learning that He can fill me up.
hard things are good, for you, you know?
sorry girls, someday i'll stop talking about him.
i just have to get my mushies out somehow.