gordon.

this is my caterpillar
his name is gordon.
sorry you can't see him very good in this picture.
actually, sorry you can't see him
at all
in this picture.
i don't know if he's dead
or if he is cacooning.
but i hope its the latter.

love, laura

sometimes i feel so small.

sometimes i lay on the pavement
and i look that the sky
and i think about outer space.
welp,
here's the thing
i'm kind of a freak about space.
it amazes me that there are billions and billions and trillions
and zillions of miles of things out there.
that i'm laying on the warm ground and the world is actually moving.
that even though the stars look like they are all the same distance away
some are closer to me
and some are farther away.
that some of them are planets
and some of them are satellites.
and that i can be staring at the same sky
that someone in new york can be looking at
and we're really that far away from each other still.
i feel like it connects us all.
and spreads us all out.
it makes me feel small
yet still apart of the greatest thing.

and that,
is my secret obsession.
how embarrassing :)

love, laura

don't you know?

i don't know how you did it.
but sometimes,

and by "sometimes"
i mean
more than sometimes.




i can't get you out of my mind.


and i miss you.
love, laura

hey

that's your heart in there.
protect it.
i know
i know
it beats really fast and it wants to be held.
but its worth it
its worth it to keep it inside.
cause one day
you might want it back.

love, laura

new romantic

i'll always be your first love.
and you'll always be my first love.

love, laura

keep it simple.

"build it out of driftwood
keep it simple
simple is good."
-always remember me - ry cummings.

i decided that i think
girls think that love is hard.
and that if it isn't hard
it isn't real.

i think that love should be work
yes
but not hard.
i think it should feel like breathing.
like sunshine.
it should be simple.
like your heartbeat.
it should be the inhale before your laughter
and the silence that means more than words
the kind that makes you smile instead of fidget.
it should be light
and help you see things clearer.

it should be that person who makes you feel happy with who you are
but still inspires you to be better.

thats what i think.

love, laura

here's the thing.

i'm learning to forget
those things that bring me down
and pack up the ones that really matter
so they can come with me wherever
i go.

its nice to know i can leave the old
nonsense behind.

you're lovely.

love, laura

there's my brother.

best day of my life, peeps.

love, laura

friendship.

friendship is between you and someone else.
its staying up late and sharing secrets.
its swinging on swings.
its notes on your car and
giving you hope along the way.
its "he doesn't deserve you"
and "come on laur, get it together."
its a party for a late graduate
and a smile in the hallway.
its a text to say "i've been thinking about you"
and a drive.
friendship is dancing
its running away to the canyon.
its a crying shoulder
and a hug you can count on.
its swimming till your arms hurt
and laughing till you can't breathe anymore.
most of all friendship is people.
friendship is you making me feel like i can be better.
its knowing you expect a lot
and me expecting a lot in return.
friendship is putting someone else's feelings before your own.
its taking the time to
listen
pray
love
hug
cry
girl scream
disagree
and everything else you can think of.
and so, here's a thank you.

to the girls who save me every day.

hannah, shulb, jamie, mikelle, ari, tori, natalie, janene, emily, jenoa,
jess, michelle, mama, lis and annie. and many more.

you do WAY too much for me.

love, laura

can't believe i haven't told you before.

check out this man.










this
is andrew warren cottrell.
this
is my best friend.
this
is my missionary brother.
and this
is coming home in

3 MORE DAYS

i can't contain it.

love, laura

oops.

welp
sometimes i have moments
that would be considered very embarrassing.
well.

on graduation night, you take off your robe
and you give it to the nice boy who puts it in a box
and then you walk away and forget about it.

or if your name is laura,
you take off your robe and your dress is undone
and that sweet little boy sees the entire left side of your bod.
that's cool.

note to self.
wrap dresses?
not the best idea on graduation.

love, laura

and to the cave i love so much.

here comes the sap.

remember the years of elementary school?
we played tag
and slid down the slides.
the boys played on one side of the playgroud
and the girls on the other.
i had a boyfriend whom
i never heard speak
our friends would belay messages
between us for one another.
i broke up with him
because i didn't want to be tied down.
(i was in 5th grade. and an idiot haha)
remember those seniors? couldn't wait to get old and mature like them.

remember junior high?
remember laughing and making friends with the boys.
laying on the couch and watching
hannah montana on friday nights
because me and jamie were the only ones
who couldn't hang out with boys.
remember getting rides everywhere?
remember coming home at 10?
remember wishing you were out of school already
and you still had "soooo many years left!"?
remember awkward? who am i? who are you? and
what do you think of me?
remember those seniors? they had it all figured out.

remember sophomore year?
turning 16 and dating.
remember first kisses?
and getting your license?
and the boys were oh so cute.
remember your first heart break?
how you vowed to "never love again"? haha.
remember the seniors? they looked so big.

remember being a junior?
you thought you had it all figured out.
stuck in the middle.
remember falling in love with your best friend?
remember being rude to a boy who liked you very much?
remember finding yourself?
not caring what you looked like
or who liked you.
remember dad? remember what happened?
and finding some of the best of friends
in the midst of that storm?
remember how back then you couldn't cry?
and remember those seniors? they seemed so old.

and now you're a senior.
if only for a few more hours.
remember the boy you can't get over?
and how you cry almost every day now?
how your heart has been broken
and put back together
almost every week?
remember laughing
laughing more than you've ever laughed your whole life?
remember finding joy in the little things?
and really appreciating a beautiful day?
remember giving up on homework?
and studying for tests?
not one of your best choices
remember your friends?
driving to their houses at 1 in the morning
and reflecting on all the things you've learned?
remember that night on ari's couch? when you realized
that your girl friends were the only ones that would be
there forever.
remember the drives? the stars?
the dances?
and almost failing every class at one point? :)
remember the young ones who made your day?
remember how at the end we were all friends?
and remember that we were the seniors
and we aren't big
or old and we
don't have anything figured out.

and as i'm sitting here
bawling at my computer
i just want to say that i
HAVE had the time of my life.
and i owe it all to my dear cave
and to the caveman inside of it.

love, laura