Monday, June 11, 2012

all that, too.

my life isn't about this thing that i write on,
or about you or about me of about my little brother's ninetendo games.
it's not about fluffies and kitties and puppies
or even the way my hair looks at nighttime, or the way my only freckle is forgotten.
it's not about painting walls, it's not even about smelling flowers,
it's not about running or water bottles or never forgetting your name.
i guess my life is about all of this too,
i guess it's about all of that and more.
my life is more about what happens when i open my mouth and what i'm saying
and what you're saying
and the certain color hue the room seems to turn whenever we're speaking like that.
it's about sunshine and nice-ness
it's about learning how to fix the things about myself that make my nose turn up.
it's about trying to love the things that are right about me, too.
it's about books, and learning, and temples, too.
maybe i has something to do with summertime, and healing, and learning how to be a listener.
maybe it's feeling Heavenly Father's love for me, and feeling your love for me too.
it's about getting older, because it's happening all the time,
but it's about being alive, because if you're alive, getting older doesn't matter, you know?
it's about how i tell myself i'm ok all the time,
i tell myself i don't miss you and don't want to and you're having a good time,
and it's about learning it's ok to not be strong all the time.
i guess it's about colors and laughter and the fact that one of us saw rockets today.
and i said prayers and i took a long shower and for a second i forgot how sore my legs were.
and maybe in that we are ok,
i think somewhere in rockets and "love you"'s and long showers and flowers,
and prayers and prayers and more prayers, too.
i am always going to be ok,
and so are you.

"can't do it alone, i've tried, and i don't know why"
love, laura

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