scary things.

well you know, life is funny. ok?
because one second you think that you are in a situation that is
going to be the hardest thing,
and then all of the sudden it gets lighter outside and
you can't decide if you're comfortable with it.
you can't decide if your shining brighter now, or if
all you're doing is getting skin cancer and sunburns.
well, one thing you should know about me
is that i'm not particularly brave.
really, i'm not brave at all.
i'm fine in my circumstances and my lovely little comfort zone,
i've made my comfort zone really quite comfortable, you see.
i would live in the same house my whole life if i could,
i'd take showers in the morning and use the same shampoo,
i'd drive the same way to school,
and i'd breathe the same rhythms and i'd love you forever.
and i'd call my mom for an hour every day.
the thing is, it's a little harder to grow in your comfort zone, you know?
too many pillows and happies are stunting my growth.
when i woke up that saturday, i knew it was a special day,
but you know, listening to the prophets is always a special day.
and then he said it and i knew and i cried for a loooonnnng time.
and actually, i'm still crying.
but sometimes that feeling on your heart
and the words that you speak,
and the timing that's too perfect too miss,
and the weakness inside of you,
and the scared and the yuck,
all come to one conclusion. and you have to do what's right for you.
and sometimes doing the hardest thing
is what's right for you.
doing the hardest thing, is what's right for me.
and it's time for me to be brave.
it's time for me to do scary things.
it's time for me to walk out on that limb and jump and trust, and have no idea where i'm gonna land or who's going to help me back up or what shampoo i'll be using,
and just go.
i can do it. i can be brave. i can have faith.

send your prayers this way, ya'll.




"take and seal it, seal it for thy
courts above."
love, laura