i know.

and i wish i ran marathons and climbed mountains
and i even wish my hands and feet were larger in size.
i wish freckles danced around my lips and that i wore shoes that were taller and
that i never forgot to tell you happy birthday or anniversary or even to have a good evening when it was after 7.
theres a lot of things that i don't know how to do, you see.
and being perfect is number one on that list.
a lot of things i'm still figuring out,
but i know that the wishes that are the most beautiful
are the ones made when your eyes are closed
and kisses are always sweetest when they are soft.
and there's something about whispers in your ear that makes everything mean a lot more.
and i know that i dream of honey bees and cities and tiny grains of sand,
and somehow you're always there and we're always laughing and laughing and loving our hearts out
and i guess thats a lot like how i hope real life would be if i just had the time and the you.
i know that nothing is better than sunshine on my face
and that canyons are quiet when you're all by yourself.
i know that living was meant to be like this. and sometimes being like this hurts.

basically what i'm saying is that my name is laura,
and i'm not sure if today will end up being a good day or a bad day because i can feel things in me and i know that change is coming.
but there's something to be said for picking up trash when its sunny outside,
and thinking you're gonna die of secondhand smoke.
and there's something to be said for boys and girls who have broken hearts and who
keep breathing anyways because they believe
love will find them again.
and you might not know me and i might not know you,
but what you should know is that i'm happy with who i am and where i'm going
and that when i do things i do them with all of my heart,
and that means loving people and leaving people and
writing blog posts too.
and sometimes its a hard way to be
for it can make your lungs fill up with ashes and
your eyes fill up with salt.
but no matter what, i've got the sunsets,
and
prayers in my heart and
that makes me feel strong.

and once you make it in my head,
you're going to stay there forever and ever
and we'll spin and jump until it makes me feel sick,
but that's how my brain works and you
still won't get out of it.
no matter how much i push and pull.
you're there.



"i pray its not wasted"
love, laura