there's this part of the evening,

it starts out as a beautiful
orange and pink and purple sunset
and then the top of the sky starts to get dark blue.
and it sends off lighter and lighter shades of blue
that get closer and closer to the setting sun
until the night sky over takes everything.
but
there is a small moment of in-between the two.
its when
the shade of blue at the ends of the sky
is so light
that it looks white and colorless.
and you can see the silhouette of the mountains perfectly.
at this part of the evening
i like to think that the sky is getting stretched to its limits
to make more room for the stars that are gonna fill up the entire sky
and thats why it looks that way.

and the white sky is just yearning for a rest
for blue to overtake it and beautiful stars to fill it up.
it doesn't know it yet,
but i know that
its only going to be a few moments
before the starlight comes and this part of the sky
is more beautiful than its ever been.

last night i watched this happen in the sky yet again.
but this time it was different.
my life, as of late, has been a bit stuck in that white, stretching position.
when all i can really see is the moutains
or the big things ahead of me that are going to be hard.
and i'm just waiting for a rest. for stars to fill me up
and for things to be more beautiful than they ever were before.

what i don't realize is that the first stars to pop up
are the smallest ones.
the ones you can barely see
but the ones that make everything most beautiful.
you have to open your eyes wide to find them
but they inevitably do come.

he sent me a scripture last night,
i read it and i felt rest in my soul
and peace in my heart.
she took me for a drive
and we listened to taylor swift
and the tears that had been welling for so long,
finally came out.
she sent me a text
about space and the moon
and about how thats what friends are for.
i talked to her on the phone
and she listened to me
and i listened to her. and i worried about someone else for a change.
i got to see my darling hawaiian via skype,
she did a hula dance for me
and told me she missed me a lot.


my sky is filling right up with little stars.
little stars blinking and reminding me that the nighttime will come.
that things will be beautiful once again
that the mountains are not big enough to stop me.
and that stretching only makes more room for more blessings.

God knew what He was doing,
filling up that sky with things for me to learn from.




"happy is the heart that still feels
pain."
love, laura