happy december.

from inside of me i feel the need to scream it all out on top of something tall.
except all i have is this blog and so that'll have to do.
i woke up this morning with the pukies in my stomach.
its abnormal for me to feel this way
i throw up a lot but only out of crying
or when i brush my teeth and my gag reflexes don't like it.
so to wake up and feel really sick is a really odd feeling
and i really don't like it that much.

my mom brings me oils when i don't feel good and she rubs them on my feet.
then she gives me some to rub on my tummy
and now i smell like flowers or
weeds
or something like that.
so i get some work done and then i stay in my pajamas all day.

and i look outside and realize that it is december.
i so enjoy the first day of every month because its the promise for a whole new 30 or so days of new things.
its like looking at the empty pages left in your journal
and wondering what in the world you're going to write about back in there
because you have no idea when you'll write in it
and no idea where you'll be when you do.

and my phone has been quieter the past few days.


and i'm sorry that this long post might make no sense at all.

but its december and its not snowing
and this is the most magical month of all of them.
so go outside and don't forget your coat.
and tonight look at the christmas lights because
it looks like christmas out there.


"your skin and bones turn into something beautiful, you know,
you know i love you so."
love, laura